My problem with the least favorite child

In a recent article published in Singapore's daily, The Straits Times, on 10 August 2008 (Feeling like the least favorite child), a Malay Muslim columnist expresses her disappointment at being treated differently (rather unfairly, from the tone of her article) because she belongs to one of Singapore's ethnic minorities. She brings up the perception that members of this particular minority need to work much harder to prove themselves and that they are burdened by the expectation or belief that their individual actions are regarded as a reflection of the entire community's capabilities or shortcomings. More interesting is her suggestion that such stereotyping is institutionalized through her anecdotes on family members being excluded from national service or the army, and I'm surprised that there has been no official response on that particular point. 

What disturbs me about this article is not the fact that I felt a certain kinship with the author, as I believe many Malay Singaporeans would (or for that matter readers from other minority groups), but that she made certain generalizations that appear to stem from the very same stereotypes that frustrate her. Does she actually have evidence that the large number of votes for the Singapore Idols were mainly from the Malay community, and is she aware that Malay Muslim boys do perform their national service in the army? Is it just me or did her article seem like one long gripe?

No doubt many Malay Singaporeans, including yours truly, would have felt the burden of the community's expectation while we were growing up, and we would have also lamented (or heard our parents lament) the injustice of the stereotypes attached to our ethnicity. However, by focusing on such perceptions and allowing them to rule our actions, would we not be guilty of stereotyping ourselves and of using them as a social crutch? Have we considered that by repeating these stereotypes, we would actually reinforce and internalize them, and impose extra pressure on ourselves and others? Or that we would start viewing the world through the eyes of those who want us to fit into a certain mould, i.e. self-fulfilling prophecy?

Perhaps it's time we stop complaining and start defining ourselves through our own actions, regardless of how we perceive or expect others to perceive us. There would always be people who refuse to see us for who we are, whether we like it or not. But there's nothing to stop us from taking charge of our own destiny.